Sputtering along

 

Right, so if you want to read more, please go to Patreon and sponsor me for $1/month. I think I may even remove the other options. It's not really about the money, but rather, support. 

I need to start rehearsing for my next gig, Dec. 13th. And started to make a new strap for my guitar that supports my shoulders/spine better, but my first prototype was too small, straps weren't long enough. So, need to make sample #2. 

The set list is pretty easy, it's just narrowing it down of course. I'm only going to play a short set since I have a booth as well, which makes it even easier! After  playing 3 hour gigs with Specx, 1/2 hour is going to be a breeze. 

Something I'm excited about is that I'm going to have a booth at a motorcycle and vintage car show next June. I love vintage cars, so this will be fun for me, too. I sort of dream about getting my own vintage car fixed up and actually driving it there. It could really use a paint job and new carpet (my older brother keeps reminding me) and a tune up.

I bought it sight unseen out of a newspaper ad when I was in San Francisco in late 2002. I paid for it with money I earned from having the song "Time Capsule" used on the NBC show called "All About Us" and had it loaded onto a semi truck and driven out to Chicago where I happened to be living at the time. That car broke down a lot, but I still loved it. The heat was not great and there was no A/C but I just loved the mechanicalness of it, meaning nothing was/is automatic. It's a BMW2002 from 1975. 

I love the chrome, and folding up the front seats to get into the back. I love the triangle windows in the front and it even has a sun roof! Before I got one, I used to get so excited every time I saw one, which wasn't often. Anyway, it's such a nice thought on a rainy day. 

Well, back to work. This qualifies as a short blog post here, but for more in-depth or different posts, you know where to go:

 http://www.patreon.com/leslienuss

have a great day,

Leslie

 

 

News Dump

 

since I'm moving my blog to Patreon (until further notice) here is a news dump from my home page. xo

October. Ok, I have a gig in Paris for February. Yea! And my hand has gotten a lot better. Patreon is a hustle, which if you know me, is a struggle. But it's there. Have my merchandise worked out, doing another merch show on Saturday, Nov. 2nd. Now working on gigs for 2020-right now I'm focusing on Ohio and Kentucky as a 3 piece.

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September! Launching a Patreon. Please go here: http://www.patreon.com/leslienuss. I think I'm ready to let it go. Let it out. Use it up. 

Getting some therapy for my hand. my right pointer finger has been feeling weird for a few months now and so I've been focusing on piano over guitar. 

Making what I can for the Hunt & Gather Makers Market on Oct 4th end 5th. Belts, bags, merch-y kind of items, some quite time-consuming, kind of excited. I think I've finally designed a belt I want to wear! Can't wait.

thinking about how cool it would be to play a show in Paris in February. I've made it to London to play, but not yet "Europe." It sort of depends on how my hand feels or whether I could play a set on keyboard. And booking a gig, of course. 

alright. thanks for your time. xo

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August: Got the mixes mastered by Jett Galinda with producer Ainjel Emme giving her ears and her attention to the tracks. They came back better than before, with the sound crisp and layered. While I wish I could just release everything immediately, I need to do some promo first, and "set the stage" as they say.

July. Busy finishing 8 new tracks plus a remix! And getting ready for a new photo shoot and music video. Trying to stay cool, school's out and we all have to take time to enjoy it. xo

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May 10th, Nuss is back opening up the Hunt & Gather maker's market in Crown Point, IN at the fairgrounds from 4:45-6pm. 

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May 7th: First "pre-review" for upcoming ep entitled "5"--

"Shook Me" and "Deaths Door" are both incredibly powerful, beautiful, emotive works - - - although I naturally gravitate to the more upbeat numbers, "When I Wake" and "Swing for the Stars". "When I Wake" is tinged with the kind of reflection and doubt that I think we can all identify with, which makes it so memorable and compelling. And "Swing for the Stars" feels like a glorious, beguiling aspirational clarion call, freighted with wistful vulnerability. These are some of the best things I've ever heard from you - and that's saying a lot!" --Rich Kaminsky

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May 3rd: Producer Ainjel Emme working on a remix of "Shook Me" for the ep. This will be Leslie's first released remix. Medusa's, anyone?

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May 1st: Leslie debuts new song on piano with drummer Tomm Alsman as part of the Nora Night celebration in Chesterton, IN at Westchester Intermediate School. You can read what more about the evening and what Leslie has to say (she's quoted) in the article from the NWI Times. (click the link in the left side bar)

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April: BIG NEWS: Hired a FEMALE MASTERING ENGINEERESS!!!! Jett Galinda. Female producers, mastering and recording engineers currently make up about 2% of the total. Hire more women!

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February:

What's new? working on the video for "The Subway" and starting a Kickstarter, wait, hang on, was told to do a Patreon to put the second ep on CD and hopefully raise money for videos, too. Not sure if I could get in the black this year, but what a great goal that would be, eh? I'm almost there with design and painting. 

 

 

 

Blog Moving to Patreon!

 

On this, September 12, 2019, such a week/time of year filled with many memories of 9/11, I decided that now is the time to launch over at Patreon. I watched an intro video that says people need to be told 6-7 times before they will act, ie before they'll sign up, but I did it. I started it.

So, I'm going to focus on blogging there. I might put a paragraph of my blog posts here as well, with a "to read more go to Patreon and become a subscriber" so there's that.

the link is:

http://www.patreon.com/leslienuss

and it's a work in progress, as i'm not really sure how to price things, which format to use, etc. but whatever. 

so if you've read this, been reading these, thank you. Thank you for your anonymous time. I hope you got something out of this. If you can join me on Patreon, that would be super awesome.

Why am I doing this, I keep asking myself over and over. I don't really "need" this, currently. I could "just" for the most part, be a full-time mother and a "housewife" (which I am, anyway) and I suppose I could go to the gym in my spare time, hang out with friends, keep my ideas to myself.

But then my friend Nancy and I were talking about hoarding. And, sometimes that's a fear of mine, of becoming a hoarder, with a home that I can barely navigate. So, to me, there is hoarding physical things, and how do I know that's not what I'm doing? I have CD's I could have tried harder to sell. It was hard to get back up on that horse, that I rode in the year 2000.

Then there are the supplies that I've accumulated-the leather, the fabric, the hardware, the feathers, the ribbon and webbing and so on. And so forth. Could I use it all up? and would I? Some of these things are so beautiful to me. And yet, you can't take it with you. So why not share it with you?

I liked making accessories as a side gig when I lived in New York. I did a lot of fun things, like make a bridal headpiece for the artist Merry Alpern in exchange for one of her photographs. I mean, it doesn't get much better than that. Money is nice, but getting artwork in exchange was another level. 

I don't want to haggle, I want my work to be appreciated. I need to think about money in a new way. As a way to art. I will create my own monetary system (just for me) with new values attached to money. I know how to spend my own money wisely. I am going to make a budget for the next two years, what I need for art. 

Anyway, if you join patreon, you will get to hear a rough version of The Buildings Move, a version started in 2016. It's a song I put aside in 2001, spooked by what I had written. 

What more could I say to get you to join Patreon? I dunno. You really don't have to, of course. But you could root for someone you know, and it might feel good. Let me know if it does. I am part of the home team. 

xo

Leslie

 

gaining steam

 

ok. so, if you saw on instagram, I posted photos of my studios and they have come such a long way even in the past few months. AND I even swapped things around yesterday/today because I realized I needed a little table next to the piano so I can notate my songs better. I finished a song this week since Waz was asking me about songwriting, but I had to keep getting up and going to my desk to handwrite out chords, etc and that did slow down my flow and momentum.

Why am I writing new songs when I have 8 that just got mastered and are not released yet? Waz said I have that compulsion. But also, I'm still searching for some kind of Kum Baya ok that is not the right spelling, but some song that really gets to the heart of where we are/what we need to do. I think.

And I've been making all of these little videos with my song snippets and it would be nice to get that all completed.

Before, when my studio was more of a shambles, I still was super creative, but there was a lack of peace in my psyche. Now I have stations for just about everything I want to do/work on. Stations, like a gym! 

I have a really good (I think) idea for an LP -I'd like to do it for this new batch of songs, so I am more motivated to do a Patreon account. I'm excited about the idea, although, maybe it's not that hard to get me excited about new ideas. But this one. It's good.

What I'm going to do is pull together some things where I've done something and then someone else did what seems to me to be a copy of what I've done. Because I don't think people know that about my work. I don't need 1,000 supporters on Patreon, 30 would be awesome! 

My husband loves my new songs (the mastered ones) he even wanted me to change one lyric, or he had issues with it, but it really cannot be changed. It's entirely integral to the song. He thought the phrase was too common, but that's ok with me, because it's so personal as well. The line is a fish out of water and he thought fish should be changed. But you'll have to hear the whole song and listen to all of the lyrics and then you can tell me if it doesn't work. Sometimes, I think I nail it. Sometimes I have doubts and then I rewrite and rewrite or don't record/release the song. 

It's been hot, right? Why anyone would want to burn the Brazilian rainforest is hard to fathom. When I started the recycling programs at UIUC, a University-wide program was so new that I was allowed to do a lot of reading to familiarize myself better with environmental issues and I knew in 1990 that water was going to be an issue and that global warming was an impending doom. It's my opinion that Reagan ushered in a freewheeling, hedonistic attitude that steered our ship (sorry to quote myself here) toward the rocks. Can we correct this course? I don't know. 

I guess everyone needs to vote. 

And people need to stop cheering on the crime spree. Srsly. It's our fresh air, our clean water, our standard of living, our peace that's being trashed. Aggggghhhhhh!!!

Ok, this officially counts as a blog post. Short and to the point.

gotta go!

xo chin up, eat less meat, get outside and enjoy the outdoors.

Leslie

 

lyrics

 

darn. my right hand is going numb. and I'm a bit knackered. but I'm listening to the mastering sessions for my second and third eps and yeah, they sound great. So exciting to have more women working on these songs-and will be hard to stagger the releases. 

and the lyrics! Right now "in the culture" a lot of people are saying how terrible the lyrics are, how music is about the beat, the rhythm, the production, but for me, the songs are almost always about the lyrics. And I'm super proud of these coming up.

The topics are serious and yet, I think the songs deliver. Now, especially as a woman, I'm not supposed to say that about my own work, but oh well. 

What I want to do is make a photo of a baseball cap with "Make CD's Cool Again" because it's such a drag that people aren't buying cd's and I quite frankly, don't have enough well, maybe it's confidence in releasing this as an LP, and what I'm really getting at is publishing the lyrics. I might make a separate booklet and maybe I'll add a section to this website for the lyrics. (or maybe it's already built in)

My son makes us listen to songs from the first ep when we're in the car, namely The Subway and Writer, and I wonder if he'll come to like these next 8. He gets so upset if the radio is on, or another cd and he gets so happy listening to these that I usually give in, though tbh I am getting a little tired of listening to those two over and over and over etc. 

So the mastering session went well and Jett (the mastering engineeress) was singing Swing for the Stars, so that's all good.

Now the kids are back in school and I can start to work on these releases. I think I mentioned I'd like to play shows out of town. I drew a circle around my town, so I'm thinking from Green Bay, to Cleveland, to Davenport, etc. There are a lot of towns I could get to, not that far to drive. the 20/20 tour. 

However, I need to heal my hand. I'm allllmost ready to make an appt with the dr. The pointer is still numb and it does hurt to play the guitar. I don't think I'm ready to tour on a keyboard. (that hurts, but not as much) Fasting didn't heal my hand, though it seems to have helped. But truth be told, probably I would have needed to fast for a lot longer, and as soon as you tell a few people you are fasting, they are all up in your business telling you to stop. (for real.) And that messes with my head. 

I'm going to focus on making my merchandise and hopefully my hands will not rebel too much. But my brother said it and he's right: when one thing on your body is out of whack, eventually other things go out of whack, too, because now my left elbow hurts-and I really should stop lifting heavy things and relearn how to lift because I can feel the strains.

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The news of the day is still a shitshow. (sorry) Waz asked me the other day if I had any new writing to play for him and I told him I had so many starts that I needed to finish something and now that these 8 are mastered, well, time to make the next 4 or 8. (even though I have another 4 -at least- songs in various stages of recording, Buildings Move, Love Can Fix, Dorian Gray, Rainbow, Isn't it Time, Free Climb. wow. that's 6) I guess those are b-sides? 

But new songs are piano based, which is cool/new for me. 

ok, I'm sweating in my loft, which I've converted into a paper/collage studio since I took out the hammock and daybed and all the things that made it sort of a resting place. I probably could paint up here, too, but I just took all my paints to the beach house. 

ramble

ramble

MAKE CDS COOL AGAIN

or conversely, universe, let me gain enough new fans that I can release an LP.

have a great week!

xo

Leslie

 

back on track

 

ok. I think I know what I'm doing now. I've been reading "Becoming" by Michelle Obama and it's just so good. She's a wonderful storyteller and her story is a good one. Also, inspirational and I'm struck by what a benefit it was for her to have an extended family that was aware of their blackness and the culture they live in. 

Because, I think my story isn't that unlike hers, but my family did not discuss much of anything, really, but specifically, how to get ahead. So I really admire her family for that. And for supporting her. I always loved the story of who her father was, and in her book I appreciated all the additional details. 

Anyway, was feeling a bit glum because summer vacation with the kids can be hard-especially with a kid with multiple special needs, but school starts next week. and even though I think it's too early, especially since Lake Michigan is really getting warmer now, it is what it is. Why can't we have all of August off? Such a better month to vacation. But oh well.

My daughter loved camp and what a great experience for her, to be with all girls. Girl Power! And they are all so supportive of each other. Lots of love to go around. After being glued to her phone for 4 days straight, now she's out for a run. Hurrah!

On the way back from picking her up from camp we stopped in a great record store in Grand Rapids called Vertigo. How wonderful to be able to pursue the vast selection of vinyl. There were a few Kate Bush boxed sets that would make nice presents (for me) duly pointed out to my husband.

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Ok, so the 8 new tracks are closer to getting mastered. Yea! And a release schedule being bandied about. And the seedlings for touring munched on and my merchandise idea clarified. Now I'm still babying my right arm. Pointer finger still numb as I type but overall the arm is very much better. I need to look up some info on carpal tunnel/guitar playing and see if there's anything else I can learn about how to heal/prevent future mishaps.

My son turns 11 next week. It's a bit shocking, but here we are. I'd like to plan some kind of party-last year I was frankly too overwhelmed to have a kids one, but he would like an outing at the local arcade and riding the go-karts, or playing in a gym, or having a dance party, or etc. He doesn't like sugary foods (except for applesauce-but that's with no added sugar, ie "natural") so I'm going to look up making some kind of cake with apple sauce or apples. He's only eaten cake I think 2x in his life! But it would be nice if he did have some for his b-day.

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I've been so horrified by the theft of the WH and the literal theft from the treasury for nefarious purposes and the violence incited and the immigrants traumatized and the feeling of powerlessness that goes along with it. Sometimes I wonder who I might have been had my father not frightened me away from a life in politics after telling people I'd be the first woman president. I was all ready to commit my life to serving others and I did see it as a calling. Why he did this, I'll never know. He could surely be very hateful and full of misogyny, and he seemed to relish trying to thwart my ambitions, which lies in stark contrast to how Michelle Obama's family supported her. I've often said that the kids who turn out the best have a gentle father and perhaps that's why I admired Fraser Robinson III so much. What a kind and loving man. What a good person. And so sad to think he didn't get to live to see his daughter as FLOTUS! I had to wipe some tears away just typing/thinking about that. 

I'm excited to play shows next year. It will be a year long tour, even if it's dates here and there. I will summon the energy needed to do this. xoxo

have a great week!

Leslie

 

glop/studio/summer vacation

 

So I stopped fasting. I think I was getting nervous about passing day 16 and passing out, so I started drinking broth made with bullion cubes and ended up oversalting myself and swelling up then taking some potassium. I'm good now, no worries, and most of the pain in my arm/hand is gone but my right thumb and pointer finger are still somewhat numb and get pins and needles. 

Not sure if I can mount another fast anytime soon, so I may end up getting some tests done. In my mind, I think my body is healing from the spine on down and now I'm left with the fingers, but nerve damage takes a long time to heal. 

So it's been a slow sort of 3 weeks here, and I feel like I got nothing done even though I did do two photo shoots and it looks like I have finally gotten my studio organized into really workable stations. It's taking me so long to get it together that I feel like I'm just rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic, but on the other hand, it looks like I'm ready to get to business. 

The photographer and I are going to share a booth in October at Hunt & Gather, where I have been performing, so I have a deadline/goal to make things and I do have a plan and a focus. 

Since earning money this way is hard for me, I needed to have a goal-which is to earn money so I can go on a tour in 2020. My ability to tour is limited, so it might be single shows some weeks, and two shows some weeks. But I don't think I can even go unless I get really cool merchandise together, so that's what I'm doing now.

The other goal would be to earn enough money to buy a piece of equipment called a skiver. It shaves leather which is essential in making leather goods like belts, bags and shoes. I suppose I could use some of my sewing machines being fixed, too.

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Glop is what my mom used to call these concoctions that my dad used to make, food that involved hamburger, tomato paste, small pasta shapes and gross things like frozen lima beans. My mom would tell us that we had to "help eat the glop." Not very appetizing, right? And I did think it was gross. But now I think I am making my own version for my son, which is really just a stew. It seems like you can use anything, any kind of beef, and then something to make broth, and then vegetables. Glop. Since I was a vegetarian for so long and couldn't really afford beef, stew is something that I've only made occasionally since the kids were born, but I needed to defrost our upright freezer which prompted me to start using whatever was in there. Not so hard.

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The squatter-in-chief really is a threat to the survival of a lot of people and the racism and vitriol is astounding to me. These weak people who never stood up to him, never were able to stop him-I have a hard time articulating how I feel about it all. He represents the culmination of all the misogyny that has kept good women down for a long time, the greed and avarice that has ruined lives and the venality that is allowing nefarious foreign leaders to hack away at our democracy. And so many people seem to be ok with this. And I guess on some level I must be, too or we'd all be taking to the streets. Many people are insulated from the deleterious effects of this man, this culture, but many are not. 

Can love override this period in history? Can the good people reverse this hatred? I don't know. When people are full of hatred and determined to hurt others, it's hard. I keep working on songs that I would hope could inspire people, but my audience is so small and my influence so miniscule. So should I even try? That's the hill I continue to climb, the rock I push up every night only to have it fall to the bottom every day. 

But persist I do and must. There is no alternative. I do have new songs. I do have new ideas. I'm more likely to succeed now that 20 years ago, and maybe all the energy I had then isn't necessary. 

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Ok, signing off now, finishing up the studio, going to take my son to ride the gokarts later today. Even though he has Epilepsy, he loves to hang out in the arcade room with all the flashing lights. It's a challenge for me, because it's not what I want to do, but what I do want to do is show him a good time. And I will.

xo

Leslie

 

 

Fasting

 

I had to clean out our small fish pond this week, which coincides with a water fast I'm doing and I was glad because it gave me the analogy that as I was cleaning out the gunk in the pond, I'm cleaning out the gunk in my body.

I had been feeling very depressed and emotional, which some studies are showing can be linked to our gut biome, and very achy-especially the flareup of carpal tunnel plus a numbness in the index finger of my right hand (which I realized might be from turing the volume knob for the car stereo) but still. It hurts to do most things and a few weeks ago the pain was so bad that I was crying about it.

The theory being that fasting gives your body a break to repair things it can't get to while digestion takes up a lot of its energy. I've completed 4 days so far and am feeling some relief. Finger starting to feel better and mood also. The stresses of my life are not getting me down as much and for that I'm extremely grateful. Still hurts to type, though. I should try the ergonomic keyboard I have even though I find it hard to type on. Just a sec.

ok. I am using it though now my typing has slowed to a crawl. Maybe that's ok. Accuracy is about the same but I'm trying to mirror my hands, not an easy task. 

My daughter's at camp and sounds very happy,  and last year when she was away I was a fury of activity, but this year no. Last year I worked on a very large painting, shot 3 music videos and did some work on my screenplay but I'm finding scant motivation even though I've set out some tasks for myself. I am pretty sure I'll do a new photo shoot, as it seems like it's all falling into place, and I'd like to shoot a new music video, but I had also wanted to work on my memoir and paint a painting of my daughter. But, she wants me to make this elaborate crown for her, for her fashion course and of course she doesn't have any concept of how much time that will take. Maybe I'll do that after this post so it's done.

The new mixes are almost done and they do sound fantastic. I wish it wasn't so hard for artists like myself to disseminate our work, but that's how it is. 40,000 tracks are being added to Spotify every day, which is astounding. And yet artists make almost nothing off of this service-almost all of it goes to the employees of Spotify (which we aren't).

I dislike this keyboard very much. I'm sure regular use would help with my frustration.

So anyway, I get down, because, sure, I can just make music for the sake of making music and if only a few people hear it, ok==like the movie Babette's Feast, but it's hard to justify spending the money after a point. I do love the music and feel super good about it. 

Keyboard taken off. back to laptop keyboard.

I need a champion or a very good assistant. 

Keyboard back on. 

I can take a lot of pain, so I tend to let things go until it's serious. But fasting makes you tired, so I'm forced to rest. Maybe next week I'll be a whirlwind of energy.

I'm distraught at the political scene on the right and the incitement of hatred. Part of me wonders if these angry people would feel better if they fasted and did yoga. I find that driving really makes my right hip hurt and that stretching it (not easy to do) does provide relief. Also, I wonder if any studies have been done on diet and temperament. I imagine that many of them consume too much sugar, carbohydrates and meat. 

This has nothing to do with my music or me as an artist, but as a citizen of the United States, I take an interest in the communal health of our nation. 

I should type more, but now that I mentioned this crown, I think I'm going to see if I can try to get it done quickly. Maybe I can spray paint it gold. I was going to do the whole couture technique which I learned as a student at FIT and from working with Milliner Tracy Watts, but time is of the essence. I did talk to my daughter about making crowns to sell. However, Millinery takes a lot of patience, because it's all done by hand with hand sewing and those skills take years to really develop. 

ok, have a good week. Stay cool, or go outside and swelter for a bit. Instant sauna!

xo

Leslie

 

been too long

 

Hi. I haven't been in front of my laptop much since my last post...meant to catch up, but kids are home and new house to fix up and had carpal tunnel flare up and not up for typing a blog post from my phone. So here I am with a small window of clarity.

I've been following this Epstein story, maybe too much, but it horrifies me and I want to see where it goes. Will justice be served? Long ago, when I lived in NYC, someone told me about rich, powerful men having sex with underage girls. She mentioned a different former president and while I had no way of verifying it, I believed her. "back then" women were so easily dismissed, their experiences twisted back onto themselves and I want to know if it will be different this time.

Luckily, I have my son to lighten my mood. I took him on a wild golf car ride last night, fast and quick turns and up and down small hills and his look of pure joy and laughter made me smile. People with Down Syndrome can bring so much happiness to us all (I say can because sometimes he is not a joy to be around!) But he wakes up happy every day and ready to roll.

I'm afraid we'll have to sell this new house because of a woman who threatens a project my husband is working on. "There's always a saboteur. People test you to see how strong you are." That quote inspired a song on "Round 3" and it's true today. So I get pulled in to strategize, advise. I wish I could get this same help with my career. 

Mixes are back, though and they are living up to my expectations. "Someday" is incredible. and "Hey Lisa" is super cool. Pat Sansone's multi-instrumental genius is on full display and I'm so grateful. Bell Tolls-that's a difficult one for me, the song is done, and it's the best it's going to be. "I'm a Writer" seems to need a tiny bit more tweaking for some reason. But ok.

But then what? Most doors are closed to me. I'm actually mostly content to listen to the music for me and the people who know me/like what I do, but I feel guilty in a way that I'm not...making more of an effort to "go viral" or tour the world. I think I'm a slacker, but hardly anyone really wants to review/promote an artist who promotes herself. Or so it seems. 

However, there are more music videos to shoot and things to edit. I finally got some old footage, live footage of shows from the 90's digitized. Good stuff, but needs some editing, and I just need to say that I'm skilled enough to do it.

(my son is now in the garage, making the doors go up and down. Somewhat distracting, but ok)

Then there's painting-and I have ideas for 3 new paintings, not scribble paintings, but more real life. 

And my memoir/birth book. I did pull out my material, and actually thought of printing out all the text I'd written so far to see if I could use any of it or just start fresh. 

My son is now screaming. Not a joy. He's mad because I gave him a time out for smacking his device because his videos stopped playing due to the internet's unresponsiveness. He's broken several tablets this way, and if I say "stop" well, he doesn't stop. Time for breakfast, maybe.

ok. time to go. I think you're slightly caught up, and I am not going to task myself with writing all the posts I've missed. 

xo

Leslie

 

patience

 

composing at the keyboard. forgot to write down the topic I had in my head this week, but school's out and summer is at our doorstep.

I wrote "Patience" at the top because at the beginning of the year I wanted to book a short tour in Europe, but then I got asked to make clothes for a fashion show, then I got an application for Project Runway, and then life seemed to go in a different direction. 

What is the course, I ask myself all the time. Who am I? Am I living up to my potential (never, it seems). But then most likely two new eps will get released in the next few months and if I can get the money together, more videos and so maybe next summer is my best bet for a small tour. So-patience.

I had wanted to buy a nice keyboard with weighted keys but that can wait, too. I'm not at the place yet with piano where I can just play all my old songs on piano without writing a chart, so guitar seems best in the short term. I'm learning "So Far Away" and how nice to place my hands (and voice) where Carole King has. I stan her now and am in awe of her songwriting. 

Piano lesson yesterday and Waz is now helping me to focus on the introduction and solo for one of my songs, which is great. I need to write a more melodic part for both. 

I'm not sure how much I'll get done this summer with the kids out of school, though right after I typed that I remembered how last year I put out my ep, shot 3 videos, played shows, drove to SD with my daughter, etc. But this summer I want to hang out on the beach every day. Lake Michigan really is beautiful. 

A woman who does behavior therapy with my son said she'd read my memoir (this after I told her some of my experiences with pregnancy/birth) and so I thought about that again. Having even 1 guaranteed reader helps. I finally got the program Final Cut (for screenplays) on my laptop and so thought that would be a cool format to use for a memoir. To just type. So, "we'll see" (kind of kills me that someone who shall be nameless also uses a variation of that phrase)

I'm very glad it's warmer now. I try to like all seasons, but being able to hang outside and feel warm/see things bloom and grow/see baby creatures is very nice. 

Our new house is amazing, even though it's being worked on and we can't use it much yet. I wonder how I'll feel when we get furniture and can stay overnight. The design is basically a big box, which is not typical for houses, and yet it's a great design. Usually people seems to want turrets and little corners and twists and turns which I always find a bit rabbit-warren-y and not peaceful, but to each their own. 

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Who will atone for all these sins of the current administration? Humans seem so good at not atoning. At denial. It makes me wonder. The planet cries and who tries to soothe? (auto correct just tried to make my "to" into "too". Weird) A squirrel outside flaps its tail around and I'm momentarily comforted. "I want to live where the wild things are," I think. If squirrels could twerk, then that's what it's doing. 

Have a great week!

xo

Leslie