leslie nuss




macro/micro to me means studying something personal and applying it more generally or the reverse. (I didn't know what to call this post and so that popped into my head)


but I was thinking of my mom and how she cooked from a very narrow list of recipes and cuisines (really, almost nothing foreign) and how as a kid I felt sort of deprived, but how now in a way I see it as more relaxing. When I lived in NYC I also ate sort of the same thing all the time-I ate/made hummus and ate it with (mostly) carrots. I ate a few salads that I made and also just a general green salad, I ate a few pasta dishes-pesto that I made, one with spinach and black olives, one from the moosewood cookbook, occasionally lasagna, rice and beans, stir fry, a few canned soups, sometimes pancakes, smoothies, sometimes zucchini/banana bread, etc.


and I loved it. and I was happy. Plus, of course, there is so much food in NYC. I didn't eat out a lot, but would get burritos, sometimes chinese, sometimes thai, etc. 


then I met my husband whose family are serious foodies. and they cook anything and everything. And while delicious, I find it stressful, because "what should we eat" becomes a huge question. For a long time, I tried to up my game, but I'd rather simplify. We have so many cookbooks, too many really and it's overwhelming to me. 


What I used to do would be to go through my cookbooks and photocopy or copy down the recipes that I really, truly wanted to make and then give the book away. Might do that again. So, I see that it was ok what my mom did-and I did the same in New York, but with the food that I liked. I never really had money for exotic ingredients and ate for simple pleasure.


Then, with my dad, and I've been reluctant to talk about it, but I did respond to a tweet yesterday..but it's been discussed that DJT has dementia and for a long time I've seen similarities between his behavior and my father's. My father was often cruel and basically a difficult person to be around. He seemed to enjoy being hurtful which seemed to escalate towards the end of his life. He really knew how to push my buttons and it seemed that whatever I did-I pushed his as well. 


but for a long time I wanted to write about the epiphany I had a few months before he died. I got tired of trying to stop him from doing the hurtful things he would do and frankly, after having a baby, I was too tired. So when he "threatened" to move my mother to a nursing home even further away from their and my house (it was 1 hour from his house and 2 hours from mine) which would make it even more difficult to visit her--which is what I thought the point was--to isolate her (sound familiar?) finally I just said, "ok dad, if that's what you want to do. You'll just bring her to a McDonalds somewhere closer to us and we'll visit" well--then he had no where to go. What I (finally) figured out was that he LIKED it when I got upset. He enjoyed some perverse glee, but when I didn't give it to him, he quickly ran out of steam (and didn't move her) 


Not sure that the world can try that with DJT, but that's what I learned. I do wish I had tried that starting as a child. It might have saved me from a lot of anguish. 


No word from Project Runway. I watched part of a show the other day when they were in the woods. If I don't get on the show, I have another project to work on here, but it seems like my goals are always swaying back and forth. Maybe I will have more time to work on the release of my next ep. My daughter told me I need to write songs more like Billie Eilish, and she'd know, the soon-to-be-teenager :) I'm working on a song for the middle schoolers who are in the Nora Project and interacting with my son. I had a melody, and lyrics based on their mission statement, but then, billie illish, so trying to see what I can do there. More percussive guitar. More simple melody. More simple lyrics. I'd like to have it done by Friday when Harry gets together with them for the last time before the big evening party in May.


Ok, well, hopefully this counts as a blog post! I'll hopefully be back on Friday, with some ALL NEW THOUGHTS!



Be the first to respond!

Leave a comment