Hi, I have a gig on Saturday and so why not just write this early/now so that on Friday I can focus on the gig. Two hours is a long time to play by yourself, and even though I have a lot of songs, it's a challenge. Last time I did more talking than usual, but I think I *should* focus on the music. Sometimes I wish I was good enough on piano to play keyboards/sing at a gig, but in due time.
Today I didn't want to take my daily dose of humiliation so spoke up at the Dr. office where my son and I were waiting around extra early for about an hour before the Dr. showed up. White male privilege is something at least some men are becoming aware of, but I don’t really think they are at the point (yet) where they see that maybe, just maybe they need to change. The snarkiness, the condescension, it’s shocking to me, but I spoke up for myself and my son and that’s really all I want to do about it today.
A few weeks ago I did fight a battle for someone else, and I don’t think it was worth it and that was also a turn of the wheel. The layers of people are something to discern. I used to say that most people can appear to be *norma* for about 2 weeks. Then after that, you start to notice things, if you haven’t already.
I did take the kids to the beach on Sunday and that was sort of great. Sort of because my daughter was incredibly resentful of my son and that was something else to manage and it didn’t end particularly well. Before that, though, he went around to everyone’s tent which was kind of great because we talked to a lot of new people and they were all very kind to him, even when he messed up their blankets and got sand on them, and talking to new people helped me feel less lonely, which was a goal.
Indiana’s dunes are really an insanely amazing feature of this state. For $7 we got to go and park right there. The beach got crowded which reminded me of being on the Jersey (that’s New Jersey) shore which are cherished memories from my childhood. I especially liked seeing all the POC and the whole melting-pot-ness of it all. People are all there to relax and have a good time and be respectful of others, which is the meaning of life.
The day before my daughter, our dog Mr. B and I were also there but went on the hiking trails. There is camping there, and it was really something to see how many people take part in outdoor recreation. Previously, we rarely went to the beach, mostly because of the difficulty in taking my son (who has multiple disabilities) but we also thought we needed to be on the more private parts, which we have been. However, I like crowded beaches.
And back to my post from last week, now I think that being wealthy is kind of lonely. Being “secluded” with your own “private” beach and all that can be lovely, but also very lonely. I think in our culture we are somehow urged to strive for this ability to be secluded, but maybe that’s not really healthy.
Ok, so now it’s during the week and I’m back to thinking of ways/organizing my brain to focus on making money. I modified some bags I had made and think I’m just about ready to do some production. What I struggle with is educating the consumer so they understand why my products should not be/are not the cheapest things around. Our culture also seems to be so bargain fixated. I guess I should mark everything up and then say that the “introductory” price is 40% off, right? But now my bags have cool leather straps and all hand cut/hand sewn. Simple but cool.
While I was waiting at the Dr. office I wrote out some thoughts, maybe I’ll print out a card for the inside of the bags with my philosophy on bags and what should go inside them, etc. because it’s something I’ve thought a lot a lot about. I don’t just carry bags, I think about them and every aspect of them from the materials, the construction, the durability, the fashion, and on and on. I started making bags in 7thgrade and haven’t stopped. Often I just make one-offs for myself because I like to think that I’m just “too lazy” to make them for other people, but no.
One summer when I lived in NYC I did production for a friend’s company called Jinx and I made over 1,000 items. I had to add it up because I was curious and then how could I ever forget that? It was coin purses, small make up bags, things like that, and he was so good at selling. He’d go around to the shops downtown with his bag full of things I’d made and sell them outright. Genius.
Plus, people tell me all the time that my future is fashion. It’s sometimes a downer considering how much time, money and effort I’ve put into music but as my dad would say, “We shall see.” The main thing is that I need to start having my artistic pursuits break even and not be a drain on the family finances. As I’ve told a few people recently, with all the money I’ve put into music since 2016, I could have bought a “nice” car by now.
Ok, no afterschool help for my son at the moment, so I only have 80 minutes left. Gotta go. Xo check out my video-here is the link again:
https://youtu.be/fwClTwAJKqk
watch it a jillion times, tell ALL your friends to watch it and then maybe, just maybe, in a few years I can come and play your town. Xo Leslie