I had to clean out our small fish pond this week, which coincides with a water fast I'm doing and I was glad because it gave me the analogy that as I was cleaning out the gunk in the pond, I'm cleaning out the gunk in my body.

I had been feeling very depressed and emotional, which some studies are showing can be linked to our gut biome, and very achy-especially the flareup of carpal tunnel plus a numbness in the index finger of my right hand (which I realized might be from turing the volume knob for the car stereo) but still. It hurts to do most things and a few weeks ago the pain was so bad that I was crying about it.

The theory being that fasting gives your body a break to repair things it can't get to while digestion takes up a lot of its energy. I've completed 4 days so far and am feeling some relief. Finger starting to feel better and mood also. The stresses of my life are not getting me down as much and for that I'm extremely grateful. Still hurts to type, though. I should try the ergonomic keyboard I have even though I find it hard to type on. Just a sec.

ok. I am using it though now my typing has slowed to a crawl. Maybe that's ok. Accuracy is about the same but I'm trying to mirror my hands, not an easy task. 

My daughter's at camp and sounds very happy,  and last year when she was away I was a fury of activity, but this year no. Last year I worked on a very large painting, shot 3 music videos and did some work on my screenplay but I'm finding scant motivation even though I've set out some tasks for myself. I am pretty sure I'll do a new photo shoot, as it seems like it's all falling into place, and I'd like to shoot a new music video, but I had also wanted to work on my memoir and paint a painting of my daughter. But, she wants me to make this elaborate crown for her, for her fashion course and of course she doesn't have any concept of how much time that will take. Maybe I'll do that after this post so it's done.

The new mixes are almost done and they do sound fantastic. I wish it wasn't so hard for artists like myself to disseminate our work, but that's how it is. 40,000 tracks are being added to Spotify every day, which is astounding. And yet artists make almost nothing off of this service-almost all of it goes to the employees of Spotify (which we aren't).

I dislike this keyboard very much. I'm sure regular use would help with my frustration.

So anyway, I get down, because, sure, I can just make music for the sake of making music and if only a few people hear it, ok==like the movie Babette's Feast, but it's hard to justify spending the money after a point. I do love the music and feel super good about it. 

Keyboard taken off. back to laptop keyboard.

I need a champion or a very good assistant. 

Keyboard back on. 

I can take a lot of pain, so I tend to let things go until it's serious. But fasting makes you tired, so I'm forced to rest. Maybe next week I'll be a whirlwind of energy.

I'm distraught at the political scene on the right and the incitement of hatred. Part of me wonders if these angry people would feel better if they fasted and did yoga. I find that driving really makes my right hip hurt and that stretching it (not easy to do) does provide relief. Also, I wonder if any studies have been done on diet and temperament. I imagine that many of them consume too much sugar, carbohydrates and meat. 

This has nothing to do with my music or me as an artist, but as a citizen of the United States, I take an interest in the communal health of our nation. 

I should type more, but now that I mentioned this crown, I think I'm going to see if I can try to get it done quickly. Maybe I can spray paint it gold. I was going to do the whole couture technique which I learned as a student at FIT and from working with Milliner Tracy Watts, but time is of the essence. I did talk to my daughter about making crowns to sell. However, Millinery takes a lot of patience, because it's all done by hand with hand sewing and those skills take years to really develop. 

ok, have a good week. Stay cool, or go outside and swelter for a bit. Instant sauna!



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