so, I am completely procrastinating doing my taxes. Even though as a child I excelled in Math, or Maths, as the English say, or maybe because of that, I find doing taxes completely unleashes all my avoidant behavior. I feel like it's just so painful, excruciating, even, that earlier in the week I listened to my song, "Zen Meditation" to remind me that painful things can yield something good, because I wrote that song while experiencing many of the same emotions doing my taxes years ago. I specifically remember moving my desktop computer into my bedroom in an attempt to make the task seem more comfortable.
Then I found my demo version of Zen Meditation and wanted to put it on youtube, would love to make a quick video, and you can see where this is going, right? It just led to more procrastination. But the demo version is good, and I would like to make it available. Maybe I'll do it on Sound Cloud. Sometimes I read interviews where artists or their producers talk about the demo version and how the recorded version is pretty much the same, just more fleshed out. And, maybe it's good for people to hear my voice, no nothing on it, as people seem to wonder if anyone can actually sing anymore.
here's the link: https://soundcloud.com/leslienuss/zen-meditation-demo
How does that segue into a discussion about intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation? I don't know, but I was just thinking about the concept of helping, helping other people. My father certainly thought everyone (or at least his children) should do everything themselves with the very bare minimum of help. Maybe in his mind, if you could do it without help, then, you could really do it. However, children really do need help. Then I was thinking about it some more, thinking that I help people because I like to help people, but actually, as a child I didn't always like to help my mother, because (now I realize) I thought she was somewhat lazy. She didn't keep a clean house, only made the very simplest of meals, didn't sew, mostly sat and read, swam in the summer, watched tv. I would help her, but it was hard for me to understand why she wouldn't clean up (depression)
But I think that's an aside.
Some people are intrinsically motivated and others are extrinsically motivated, or transactionally motivated. If I do this for you, what are you going to do for me? Intrinsically motivated people are not necessarily motivated by money, they are motivated by the desire to do, to accomplish, while externally motivated people are (usually) motivated by material things like money, etc.
But, the segue I am looking for is to the story of the Little Red Hen. Is the Little Red Hen a feminist icon? She certainly held a fascination for me as a child. No one would help her. They couldn't see past the end of themselves, and so, she did it all by herself. While they napped and fished and laid around, she did everything. She planted the wheat, threshed the wheat, ground the wheat and made the bread, and only when it was cooling on her sill and the aromas traveled to the noses of those who refused to help her did they respond. And of course they wanted to help her eat the bread,--they had been too lazy to make some themselves, but she called them out. She told them they wouldn't help her when she needed it, so she was going to eat this bread herself and share it with her chicks. She is the epitome of grace under pressure and self-respect. She is incredibly aware. I love her.
I am trying to get a handle on this Twitter thing. Maybe I'll post that last paragraph as a thread.
The taxes will get done. The mastering of the ep will get done. The next songs will get finished. The next next songs will get recorded and so on and so forth. I do have a little army who is helping me. Little but mighty. Talented.
And, there's always painting. xo
oh and what about the Lorax? He spoke for the trees.