Singing, in the mud

Went into the studio this week. Always a bit petrifying, having to rely on my voice, something that is not entirely under my control, meaning that I need to try to disregard or transcend the factors that might impact its quality, like illness, emotions, energy, stress, etc. The flu is going around and so there's that. Then, not being a vegan, and maybe eating some dairy, then there's the possibility of cloud in my voice, then there is the fight or flight of being excited and nervous at the same time. Plus, it's time and money in the studio and aware that I don't want to waste anyone's time. 

Then, it's such a relief/surprise to hear it played back and then, the "wow" moment, where I am amazed that it sounds good. Those moments of beauty, of lightness and delicateness and not just singing the melody, but something that goes beyond that. Then, trying to double the lead vocal, trying to duplicate it exactly, and then it starts all over. The mimic part, one can (headphone) on and one off, so I can hear the lead vocal and hear myself. And there it is. Telling a story through sound, setting a mood. Maybe having a map and maybe just having a destination in mind. Then harmonies. 

Then, needing to crash for a day, just being a bit exhausted from the physical demands of singing, the long drive, the existential "why am I doing this again?" whole aspect, the other people who are crucial to this project, steering the ship. Oh, and have fun, too! haha.

Then Ainjel sends me rough mixes and it's a big wow. She asked for and got some NYC Subway sounds to incorporate into a track, very fun. She is making me sound so good, I feel like it's almost a slight of hand, a magic trick, except that I did sing those tracks, I did write those songs, I did seek and find and here we are. 

Wouldn't it be nice to be heard? I doubt my ability to do more than make an amazing product. Sales-not my forté. And I am aware I don't have a big budget for promotion. And my mom always said, "It just takes one song." Do I have that one song and if so, which one is it? As my father would say, "We shall see." 

Kids off school, snow, sledding, shoveling off the frozen pond for ice skating, sledding into the brambles and ripping our coats (worth it), sleep overs, laundry, immer laundry, dog sitting, dog has anxiety after encounter with coyote and therefore a bit of high maintenance, my daughter just asked me to wear one unicorn and one rainbow earring so I do, then I tell her I forgot to give her something for Christmas, and she opens a glass rainbow ornament I got at the Welcome Home store in Nashville and she runs off to hang it on the tree. Her sleepover friend got her to watch the first Harry Potter movie, so now maybe we will read the series, but good luck getting her off her iPod touch. 

Working on getting a band together to play my next gig in March. Have not played out with a band since Specx, so should be interesting/fun, of course. 

alright, need to do some other things, this was a warm up, thanks! have a great week. xo Leslie

ps. "in the mud" refers to where I feel I'm at in the recording process. In the mud/in the middle/in the muddle, you get the idea.

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